The Right Gear

Moving around London is daunting. The Square Mile is one thing, but traveling further out allows to redefine confusion quite quickly.

Make sure you have a relatively modern, SIM-free smartphone. Get a 30-day prepaid, all-the-data-you-can-eat SIM from any of the available operators. (Doesn't really matter which one.) Install the stock maps application and Citymapper. The two complement one another beautifully when trying to find out the sanest way to move around. The small cost of the prepaid SIM will be more than balanced by the lack of headache if you're staying in the City for more than just a day or two.

Invest in a pair of really good walking shoes. Break them in before London, too. The hard streets around the city are not the kinds of surfaces you want to treat your feet to in unfamiliar footwear.

Schedule as much of the inner city travels outside peak hours as possible. The tubes and trains are packed during peaks, and the buses are an outright atrocious experience. Oversized vehicles in one of the most congested cities in the world are subject to the same traffic as everything else around there. Only more so...

Blackheath

Just south of the Greenwich park there is a nice village of Blackheath. And it has a farmers' market! (Okay, just once a week.)

While the streets near the village centre are indeed packed, those slightly off the main road look a lot nicer. The air traffic is identical to Greenwich, which is only natural. There are also more cafés than pubs, which was quite a suprise.

Also present was a clear sign of communal safety: separate clothes lines down in the yard, with some laundry hanging. Nowhere else have I yet witnessed this otherwise familiar phenomenon. Apparently everywhere else the laundry would get prompty nicked, vandalised or both.

Once we get outside the village centre, there is an eerie familiarity. It's like both the Esplanade and Boulevard from Helsinki were merged, tinted to British shades and scaled up to cover a whole village.

All in all, a nice place.

Slightly to the west we find another village, in another borough.

Lewisham

Lewisham is a bit like Blackheath, but only less polished. Where the first place radiated a more or less constantly nice air everywhere, Lewisham oscillates between different vibes from street to street.

There are lots of families, more than in Blackheath. Or they show up better against the background.

Quite a nice place indeed, and mostly I wouldn't mind living here either.

Somewhat further south we come to a slightly[tm] different part of town.

Hither Green

This is a weird place. Something rubbed me the wrong way while circling the area, but I could not figure out what it was until later. It was more than just the slightly unwelcoming general brush of the neighbourhood.

Hither Green is, I feel, a place between places. A kind of place that has sprung up to allow movement from one Place (with a capital) to another, but which by itself is rarely anyone's destination. A place that is trying to apologise for being there at all. A place you pass through, when going from Somewhere to Somewhere Else. Just with the distinction that while there, you wish you were already Somewhere Else.

It is like a (re)tired industrial suburb. The old industry has moved elsewhere, new one has not yet discovered the place, and in the meanwhile, the suburb is merely laying low and waiting. Waiting for something, anything to happen.

Oh, and it has no pubs. Pubs imply happy crowds and living people, but this place did not really portray either. It might not be a place to actively avoid, but it's not a place to aim for either. I wouldn't want to end up in there.

Lee

The distance from Hither Green to Lee is roughly 1km, but the most notable change happens right around the railway bridge. On the west side, one is still elsewhere, in a place quite unencouraging. On the east side, in Lee, the streets start to look different.

Soon after the bridge, there is a pub. Only it does not call itself one, it claims to be a restaurant. It's almost as if it's still too close to a place without pubs, and does not want to attract the attention. A nicer place, certainly.

For a family I would still try to find something a bit further due east.

Kew

Such a pretty place. Too bad I wasn't deaf. Living here could probably change that, though...

Kew is, above everything else, a conflicted place. For most parts, the houses look nice and the happy families playing with their children in the various parks certainly added to the effect. People were chatty too, and so far this area has had the highest concentration of dogs I've witnessed. It could be so lovely here.

But oh boy, are there flipsides. The number one problem is Heathrow - Kew is directly beneath the Heathrow landing, making it an insanely noisy place. And no, it's more than a mere irritation: it's a constant cacophony of bass frequency blare. Also, I would have expected the tube station next to Kew Gardens to be somewhat more, well, active.

For some weird reason the place gives off an aura of hidden decay. Front yards are not particularly well maintained, the stores in the neighbourhood look somewhat dispirited and even the few pubs appeared more like places where people might go to momentarily ignore where they are. I can only suspect that the constant air traffic noise is taking its toll on the populace.

All in all, the place made me think of both Myllymäki (in Lappeenranta), and San Miguel (in Azores). Such a weird combination. Both of them are cute places to visit, but you probably won't be spending much time in either. You'll be looking for a way out, to see places that are more interesting, more accommodating, or maybe even both.

I just can't see myself moving to Kew, however nice it might otherwise be.

Barking and Stratford

Barking is not the kind of place you would want to bring your family in.

It's not inherently a bad place, but it certainly had a very distinct lack of too many redeeming features. The closest thing from Finland would be the combination of Kaisaniemi and Hakaniemi before the facelifts that gave either of them their current feel.

The place gave off a rather phlegmatic air. If neighbourhoods of boroughs can have a character, Barking is mostly just tired. And even worse, I got a strong sense of joylessness in there. Sadness would be a temporary state, making room for something else; in Barking joy might not be even on the menu. The whole place just reeked of, not desperation, but early surrender.

It was as if the heart of Barking hadn't quite stopped trying, but just couldn't be bothered to make a proper effort.

Perhaps the most worrying detail of the area was the notice in local supermarket: eggs and flour were not sold to anyone under 18. The few schools in the region were a bit on anemic side, and in all the whole place was more a sleeping suburb than anything else.

North of Barking is Ilford.

Ilford

Ilford was a slightly more energetic version of Barking. People in the area were clearly busy, and I was very happy to find a suitably nice street market there.

The local high street windows showed a very colourful, if repetitive selection of garments.

One could say this was a nicer version of Barking.

Going west, we first pass through...

Wanstead

Wanstead is a much nicer place, although the cleanest lots appear to be those nearby the Wanstead Flats and Epping Forest parks. Some houses even looked as if they had their private gardens.

The houses are surprisingly modern. The people were nice and friendly too, with lot of the activity centered around sports. When it came to the local pub, that had a nice communal feel.

I could think of living here with a family.

However, moving further from the parks, the overall feel and quality both go down. This trend continues towards Stratford, only breaking when we get very near the town centre.

Stratford

The place is like a metropolitan version of Tampere. The centre is very modern and has a "big city" air all over it.

The lack of green spaces is a bit of a disappointment, though.

Chiswick

Spacious.

Chiswick is a spectactularly nice town. Of all the places I've visited so far, Chiswick is without a doubt the most Nordic of them. In fact, it's a bit olike Gotherburg on a calm day.

The streets are wide, the buildings either modern and modernised, and the parks are everywhere. Even the apartment buildings look good. The tenants in the smaller houses appear to be of slightly elder persuasion.

Oh yes, there are schools. Lots of them, and for families in particular.

But the rents. FFS! This place is even more expensive than Richmond! Chiswick is at least 15 minutes closer to city than Kew or Richmond, which makes it highly desirable. The universal pain threshold for commute time seems to be 1 hour, and one can get to city from Chiswick in that time even during the peak hours.

No wonder the affluent have flocked there.

Denmark Hill

Denmark Hill is basically a sleeping suburb near the King's College Hospital, centered around the Ruskin Park.

Above everything else, Denmark Hill felt safe. The area is well kept, the houses are not ostentatious and the cards parked next to streets are not particularly expensive. Many of the people living there keep their motorcycles stored outside the front door, merely covered against the weather. The properties rarely have any fences, implying that thieves are not particularly interested in the region.

With the number of students in there, no wonder. And there are lot of young families.

One odd observation of the area: there are a plenty of small street corner churches, none of them larger than a small daycare. I have no idea what to make of it - it's just a detail that caught my eye.

The streets remind me of Picket Fences. Each street consists of a long row of identical houses, but at least the templates have been cycled so that nearby streets each have their own look.

So far this is the only place where I have felt the inclination of walking up to a door and give the bell a ring so I could ask the tenants what they think about living there.

The presence of a relatively small campus, along with the lack of direct transit link to city probably contribute to the region's character.

Fox on the Hill deserves a special mention. The incredibly relaxed atmosphere makes the place feel immediately cozy. Worth a visit, and while there, do take your time. Rush not.

Greenwich

The place of the zero Meridian. University, observatory and a campus.

Greenwich may have started up as a suitably remote place to relocate the inconveniently curious bearded people and their disciples (sometimes also called "students") but today it's a conveniently close place to live in.

Let's keep out of the northern tip of the Greenwich peninsula. There is nothing of interest there, for families, that is. The stem of the peninsula, near the observatory on the other hand gives off a satisfying air of family-friendlyness. While we know there is a university, there may be less property devoted to those still learning their first steps. Local pubs are genuinely cozy. Perhaps the most welcoming so far I've come across.

The nearest match in Finland might be Viaborg fort ("Suomenlinna").

Btw: the strip towards the nort of the peninsula may not be a safe place to be. But then again, it's not technically Greenwich anymore - it's Morden. Astute.

Kennington

The area around Kennington and Burgess, starting from Vauxhall, looks better than it is.

Both places are invariably cramped, and starting from Addington Square, the streets have a very distinct upstairs/downstairs tone - or, if you want to put it another way, the split could be said to be between tidy and untidy. One side of the street may look lovely and inviting, but judging by the properties on the other side of the street one might think being in an entirely different place. If you're looking for a word to describe this region, I suggest schizophrenic.

If class conflict ever starts in London, this place may well be at the heart. And it's even possible that the ever-present airplane blare may well cover the first hints of it happening. Even within the otherwise noisy city, this region stands out in quite an unfavourable way.

If we continue towards east and go past Telegraph Hill, we will eventually come to an altogether different neighbourhood.

Brockley

After the mental anguish of walking all the way from Vauxhall, Brockley was a refreshing breath of air. It's still somewhat noisy but unlike the previous two areas, this one felt more accommodating.

Above all else, the place was culturally indefferent. I couldn't spot a single dominant culture, and perhaps for that very reason they all mingled happily together. In some parts of the city that may not always be the case.

A nice neighbourhood, and not too upmarket either.

Mile End

The night before visiting Mile End I was informed by that of the most reliable sources, namely a man in a pub, that it would be "a rough place."

The naturally muted tones of the British do not make the place (in)justice it deserves. If there ever was a need to condense the place into a single-word description, unwelcoming should fit the bill. The closest thing I can think of is a mix of Pitäjänmäki in the very early 90's with a fair sprinkle of West Baltimore as shown in The Wire.

The above may sound like a cruel joke, but unfortunaly it is anything but. Apartments look just like "the projects", and judging by the local council decrees, there will be more of them. An old girls' school is in fact set to be demolished to make way for another housing project.

Everywhere the lots are not just protected, but outright fortified. Cast-iron fences abound. The only thing missing were moats and auto-cannons.

Much to my surprise, the houses most heavily fortified (even more than usual) were those next to the churches and other places of worship. The local parks felt just sad. Almost as if they had been cruelly tossed out in the middle of urban jungle and then left to wither.

I didn't see any cafés there. To be honest, after the first 45 minutes in the area I wasn't looking.

The odd houses in the area are actually pretty nice. Looking from the street, I got the feeling that the rooms above ground floor were even higher and larger than usual. The windows giving to streets are wide.

Given some thought and 15 years of planning, the region could easily turn into the next artist collective. The rents are not too high and the lofty rooms would make for great working studios.

But for the moment, I can only recommend to stay away.

Richmond (and surroundings)

Posh old London.

That's the way Richmond has been described at times, and there may well be a kernel of truth. For starters, there is nothing like Richmond in anywhere Finland that I know. The place is downright idyllic. In fact, the whole place looks like it was lifted from a BBC village drama.

And according to external resources, quite a few productions have been in fact filmed there...

Images will not do the place justice. The best description of the place I can come up with is that it looked incredibly nice even in slight gloom with the sky pouring down on me.

Across the river, to the west is:

Twickenham

Twickenham was slightly more crowded. One big reason may be that it's not Richmond, and so the riverfront is incredibly packed. Everything that did not fit into Richmond wanted to make sure it got as close to it as possible.

Both of the places are extremely good fits for families. And both have a couple of major roads that actually cause a fair amount of noise. So any flat or house in either Richmond or Twickenham should be sought at least a street off of the major arteries.

The narrow streets of Twickenham and the tightly packed houses give off a vague resemblance to Prague. In a good way.

Somewhat further down south is a rather big town.

Kingston upon Thames

This town felt busier than either of the previous two. It also had quite a fancy combination of upscale feel with somewhat lower rents than in Richmond. If commute times weren't an issue, Kingston would be an incredible place to live in.

The main road is scarily busy, but a couple of streets off it's difficult to imagine that so much traffic is passing through the place. The noise of the road simply vanishes.

Slightly east and a good deal towards north, there is one more interesting area.

Wandsworth

Wandsworth gives off a mixed feel. It's still next to the huge Richmond park, but on this side the park is fenced off almost entirely. Not to keep people out, but to keep the deer in...

The area also sports an alarming number of flat-roofed houses. For someone considering to move to London, that's an unwelcome surprise. Finns learned their lesson with flat roofs during the late 80's and early 90's when practically all of the 70's buildings had sprouted systematic moisture and mold problems. In the climate next to river Thames, one can only imagine how badly the houses fare.

A nice place to be in, nonetheless.